I am a counselor to my counselee. There will be no counselee unless it is a person voluntarily submit and is willing to be helped.

If the person has a problem of his own and since I am a counselor others expect me to help the person. Yet if there is a resistance coming from the person who needs a help then help will not be given.

There will be times that visible behavior appears that is of course very observable that the person has something to work in too yet none of my knowledge and skills needed if the person is not willing to admit and work for it.

At one time, to make it sure there are so many times that I’ve encountered the effects of disappearing family, the OFW son/s who seems to be always on my list. I never wondered the effects of having only the mother inside the home and the father is away or the father’s presence without the mother’s presence. I am also the product of growing up with a very limited bonding with my father. And of course, there are certain effects that are harmful to me and that of others.

I have a little desire for intimacy, and I am so afraid of strong emotional attachments thinking that one day he will disappear or leave me in a most unexpected ways. Though I am not suspicious when somebody does nice things to me hence, I never value the nice stuff that they’ve been showing to me.

One of my clients told me in the midst of our session that, “Ma’am wala man ko nanginahanglan ug kuwarta ug daghang butang s’ya man akoang kailangan…” Probably because the entire person needs is to receive lots of love and quality time. Who’s to be blame then? Of course no one is to blame brought by the circumstances. At his age, he knows nothing how it is to become a responsible father. He never bothers to ask his self if okay lang kaha sa akuang papa na malayo sya sa amoa? Expectedly, he is so self-centered with his age then.

What he did was he’s doing everything as much as he could to be recognized by other people. He cheats, nags, stole something from his classmates and all other bad stuffs that he wanted to do in life. I ask him, Is it not because you’re doing those things because you wanted your father’s attention to get? Or Am I describing something that is not true to you? True enough it is simply because he wanted his father’s attention. How will this person be able to love other people when he himself never experiences the real love? Actually he already received the love the he wanted to have in life yet he defines love based on his own understanding that makes him bitter. The session never ends with questioning and making some answers. It takes a lot of techniques, the knowledge and skills of a certain counselor. An issue simply resolves because of there is a need for a person to get over or he simply makes a choice to end it.