When I went outside the four walls, I am depressed for about 4 to 6 months.
I even remember how hard that was for me.
(Thanks to Sr. Nena Heramil, TDM, Thank you for the TRUST.
That was the time I worked at the Holy Cross of Sasa, Inc. for about two years.)
I definitely miss the whole Pauline Community,
the mission itself, not to mention the prayer life,
whenever there were no persons involved during my Christian Prayer activity.
And so I am doing it alone for months.
Until such time I decided not to use it
and to have Daily Holy Mass instead.
That I cannot fore go because there are people
whom I promised to pray for especially the Holy Souls in Purgatory.
I am dying inside to bounce back and of course the greater adjustment of adaptation of none Pauline Way of Life. Who said somebody sent me home? Oh no not me, I am part of the lists of the so called Prodigal Daughters. I am one of those not advised to go out and still choose to be outside the four walls. So what’s the reason behind the decision? You ask me in person and I will tell you if you’re interested too.
Destiny is something you decide for. It’s not really a miracle happen just by a mere chances of a lifetime. Yet miracle happens alone with the grace of God.
Now I am depressed again for the second time around.
It is the separation anxiety of the choice not to go back inside the four walls.
A choice that gave me again the direction as well as inspiration to go on with what I have in life.
Finally the choice ended with a gorgeous smile in my face. Now I know where I am heading too. Jesus Master must be very happy to hear me having the choice of staying outside the four walls. Will our romance ended because I have now the choice? Oh no, JESUS never has a jealous heart. HE is in fact, preparing something better for me.
When I made the choice, I never even consulted him at first and I of coursed failed again to say Thank You to Him. Not until I realized that I am bursting with so much joy and savor the sadness first to the extent of being depressed for a short moment. Yeah, it is the worst extreme feelings I ever felt in my entire life. It is two at the same time being depressed and bursting with so much joy. Believe me this is part of an abnormal feelings in a normal situation.
Again, is my intimate relationship to Jesus Master will end because of my choice? Will he be a jealous one? Will this end with a love triangle issue? (lol) Of course not, though choices made on the latter part of my life, I still believe miracles happen not because of my choices but because he simply exists with a Loving and Understanding Heart.
I even remember how hard that was for me.
(Thanks to Sr. Nena Heramil, TDM, Thank you for the TRUST.
That was the time I worked at the Holy Cross of Sasa, Inc. for about two years.)
I definitely miss the whole Pauline Community,
the mission itself, not to mention the prayer life,
whenever there were no persons involved during my Christian Prayer activity.
And so I am doing it alone for months.
Until such time I decided not to use it
and to have Daily Holy Mass instead.
That I cannot fore go because there are people
whom I promised to pray for especially the Holy Souls in Purgatory.
I am dying inside to bounce back and of course the greater adjustment of adaptation of none Pauline Way of Life. Who said somebody sent me home? Oh no not me, I am part of the lists of the so called Prodigal Daughters. I am one of those not advised to go out and still choose to be outside the four walls. So what’s the reason behind the decision? You ask me in person and I will tell you if you’re interested too.
Destiny is something you decide for. It’s not really a miracle happen just by a mere chances of a lifetime. Yet miracle happens alone with the grace of God.
Now I am depressed again for the second time around.
It is the separation anxiety of the choice not to go back inside the four walls.
A choice that gave me again the direction as well as inspiration to go on with what I have in life.
Finally the choice ended with a gorgeous smile in my face. Now I know where I am heading too. Jesus Master must be very happy to hear me having the choice of staying outside the four walls. Will our romance ended because I have now the choice? Oh no, JESUS never has a jealous heart. HE is in fact, preparing something better for me.
When I made the choice, I never even consulted him at first and I of coursed failed again to say Thank You to Him. Not until I realized that I am bursting with so much joy and savor the sadness first to the extent of being depressed for a short moment. Yeah, it is the worst extreme feelings I ever felt in my entire life. It is two at the same time being depressed and bursting with so much joy. Believe me this is part of an abnormal feelings in a normal situation.
Again, is my intimate relationship to Jesus Master will end because of my choice? Will he be a jealous one? Will this end with a love triangle issue? (lol) Of course not, though choices made on the latter part of my life, I still believe miracles happen not because of my choices but because he simply exists with a Loving and Understanding Heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment