HOW TO INSTALL LOVE

Customer Service (CS) Rep: Yes, Ma'am, how can I help you today?

Customer: Well, after much consideration,

I've decided to install LOVE.

Can you guide me through the process?

CS Rep: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now.

CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART.

Have you located your HEART Ma'am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now.

Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?

Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE.

GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

CS REP: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE

from your current operating system.

It may remain in your permanent memory,

but it will no longer disrupt other programs.

LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE

with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE.

However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE

and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent

LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn them off, ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

CS REP: My pleasure. Go to your Start Menu and invoke

FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary

until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT. COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically.

Is that normal?

CS REP: Yes. You should receive a message that says

it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

CS REP: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.

You need to begin connecting to other HEARTs in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Ooops! I have an error message already. What should I do?

CS REP: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS."

What does it mean?

CS REP: Don't worry ma'am. That's a common problem.

It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS

but has not yet been run on your HEART.

It is one of those complicated programming things,

but in non-technical terms ti means you have to "LOVE"

your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

CS REP: Can you pull down the directory called "self-acceptance?"

Customer: Yes, I have it.

CS REP: Excellent. You're getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

CS REP: You're welcome. Click on the following files

and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory:

FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTHY.TXT,

and ACKNOWLEDGEMENT-LIMITATION.DOC. T

he system will overwrite any conflicting files and

begin patching any faulty programming.

Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories,

and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure

it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up when new files.

SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and

it shows that PEACE.EXE and CONTENTMENT.COM

are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?

CS REP: Sometimes. For others it takes a while,

but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time.

So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here.

One more thing before I go.

Customer: Yes?

CS REP: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules

to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people

and they will return some similarly cook modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?

CS REP: You can call me Divine Cardiologist,

also known as the Great Physician, but most call me God.

Most people feel all they need is an annual check-up to stay heart-healthy,

but the manufacturer (ME) suggests a schedule of daily maintenance

for maximum efficiency. Put in another way, keep in touch...

--Author unknown--